Today I am struggling with the FREAK FUCKING 8 INCHES OF NEW SNOW THAT WE GOT OVERNIGHT. It is MAY the fucking 18th. The 3rd Godamned week of the month. It is still snowing, for the love of god. Today is the graduation/goodbye party that we are throwing for Dylan and many folks are not going to want to drive the hell up this mountain road to attend it. Just look at this bullshit:
I love Alaska, kids. I love snow. But, folks....this shit just ain't right. Anyone who tells me that Global Climate Change is a hoax will get a punch to the uvula. This is scary fucked up and makes me want to take the advice of my client, Captain Crazy, an astrophysicist who tearfully implored me to pack up my family pronto and move to Denver because our increasingly flaring sun would soon cause the demise of most of our civilization.
So yeah. I'm struggling with that. A little bit. A couple months ago, I was telling my mom, "Yeah! When you're out in May we'll go hiking! We've gotten so little snow this year that it will all be melted! We'll have access to some good trails!" Then we got a dumping of 3 feet. Now this shit. And cold temps to boot so it won't be melting until next week.
It's because I put the snow boots in storage in the basement, I KNOW it. The Snow Gods were displeased at my presumption. Now we have to get the boots, shovel and plow, -FUCK YOU CORONAL EJECTIONS....AND SNOW...AND GLOBAL CLIMATE INSTABILITY....AND YOU, TOO SARAH PALIN.
Hmmmm.....I wonder if the man formerly known as Captain Crazy would recommend Fort Collins......
|NOT my photo|
Update. Some "interesting" facts:
...ANCHORAGE SETS A HOST OF NEW RECORDS...
THE OFFICIAL CLIMATE STATION FOR ANCHORAGE (AT THE NATIONAL WEATHER
SERVICE OFFICE ON SAND LAKE ROAD) RECEIVED 0.3 INCHES OF SNOW ON
FRIDAY MAY 17. THIS SETS A DAILY SNOWFALL RECORD BARELY EDGING OUT
THE OLD RECORD OF 0.2 INCHES SET IN 1989. VERY LIGHT SNOW CONTINUES
TO FALL IN ANCHORAGE...BUT TO THIS POINT IN TIME NO NEW MEASURABLE
SNOW HAS ACCUMULATED AT THE NWS ON SAND LAKE ROAD.
A NEW DAILY RECORD FOR LIQUID PRECIPITATION WAS ALSO SET ON FRIDAY.
RAIN PLUS MELTED SNOW ADDED UP TO 1.30 INCHES WHICH BREAKS THE OLD
DAILY RECORD OF 0.21 INCHES SET IN 1959.
THE 0.3 INCHES OF SNOW RECEIVED ON FRIDAY MAKES 2012-2013 THE
LONGEST SNOW SEASON SINCE RECORDS BEGAN IN 1917. THERE WERE 231
DAYS BETWEEN THE FIRST MEASURABLE SNOWFALL (SEPTEMBER 29) AND THE
LAST MEASURABLE SNOWFALL (MAY 17). THIS BREAKS THE OLD RECORD OF
230 DAYS SET IN 1981-1982.
THE HIGH TEMPERATURE ONLY REACHED 37 DEGREES ON FRIDAY. THIS SETS A
NEW DAILY RECORD FOR LOWEST MAXIMUM TEMPERATURE ON MAY 17 BREAKING
THE OLD RECORD OF 44 DEGREES SET IN 1971. THIS ALSO MAKES MAY 17
THE LATEST DATE A MAXIMUM TEMPERATURE THAT LOW HAS OCCURRED.
THE PREVIOUS LATEST OCCURRENCE OF A HIGH TEMPERATURE OF 37 DEGREES
WAS MAY 4TH...OBSERVED IN THE YEARS 1945...1949...AND 2013.